Here’s a fact of life-
All things being equal, self-confident people come out ahead of those who are not. Sometimes, all things not being equal, confident people still come out ahead.
You can be the most skilled, principled and solid person around, but without self-confidence, the world will not get the benefit of your brilliance.
Here are some insights to consider that will help you become more confident in yourself:
- Embrace less than 100% confidence . Be prepared to feel imperfect in your confidence. Because perfect confidence can be a foolish thing to possess. It can blind you to pitfalls, cause you to ignore critique, develop an illusion that folly is impossible. None of these are helpful in your quest for high performance.
- Here’s a beautiful definition of self-confidence from Norman Fischer:
“Self-confidence isn’t egotism…. When you are truly self-confident, you are flexible with regard to ego: you can pick up ego when necessary, but you can also put it down when necessary in order to learn something completely new through listening. And if you find that you can’t put ego down, at least you know that this is so. You can admit it to yourself. If takes profound self-confidence to be humble enough to recognize your own limitations without self-blame.”
Excerpt From: Tan, Chade-Meng. “Search Inside Yourself: The Unexpected Path to Achieving Success, Happiness (and World Peace).” iBooks.
- Confidence is depicted in how you utter and occur….meaning your speech and actions. But sometimes confident words and deeds are hard to find when you are shaky. In such moments, it helps to conjure up an illusion of confidence and act your way into walking and talking confidently. When you want to act confidently, act as if you have the confidence to act confidently.
- You can only ‘act confident’ so much. There is science to the concept of illusory optimism and how it can be put to good use. Simply stated, having a bias for optimism and ‘acting as if’ does help. But only up to a point. Beyond that, if you want to grow your confidence, you have to grow. Become a learner. Build a solid foundation for your confidence to stand on. Develop expertise, and chisel that expertise into a very specific shape- one that holds your unique signature. That’s what creates ‘resilient confidence’- the kind that weathers any storm.
- The highest way to get something of significance is to give something of significance. If you want confidence, give confidence. If you want to recharge your reserves of “confidere”, build it up in someone you know who needs it. Teach it to get it.
- Fear is a necessary ingredient in the confidence recipe. If you want the keenest, sharpest corners of your brain to be engaged in the moment, nothing does the job like a good dose of fear. In the right measure, when applied intelligently, fear fuels confidence. Make it a habit to channel fear. Any fear that you experience.
- Know the limits of self-confidence. Confidence is only as good as the work to which it can be employed, to the results it can produce. What can your confidence do for you? What can it not do? Know well the point at which confidence can silently, unknowingly become irrational behavior.